Often times, people will tell you they value something, and then live in such a way that it is apparent they are either lying to you or to themselves about these values. I have done this time and again, and perhaps so have you.

I’ve claimed to be willing to pay more for something if I knew it was going to be higher quality, or made ‘locally’, or more ethically, but neglected to actually do so. I’ve remarked on the virtues of volunteer and charity work, then do none of it myself. I want to lose weight, then I eat another cookie. The list goes on. Some of these ideas aren’t really that consequential, others are in blatant contrast to who I claim to be.

The point remains: I don’t live strictly by my stated values. I’m not who I say I am, nor who I want to be, not who I can be. Time to change that.

I won’t go into a ton of details here as it’s maybe worth another post or even a book, but a lot of my stated core values are based, weirdly, on my formative years in the Boy Scouts. A lot of what I value in character is based on the Scout Oath and Law. I’ve noticed a few times over the years that sometimes I lack complete obedience to my values and desired character.

Am I helpful? I’d like to think so, but how can I know? How have I helped anyone as of late? I feel more as if I’ve gotten in the way of more people than I’ve helped.

Am I brave? What have I done to be brave in any setting? I sit like a coward in my office day in and out, never going out of my way to harm my social standing for what I believe.

Am I thrifty? Perhaps more than I used to be, but certainly not enough. I’m the big spender in the household, not my wife. And for what? I’m hardly more happy for most of that spending and it’s certainly not helpful for our finances.

Am I honorable? When I state that on my honor I will do my best, what kind of foundation have I provided for that statement?

These are ideas worth meditating on, as a whole and individually. Each are likely to get their own post, thoroughly diving in and how I stack up and how I can get better. I’m committing now to write a book on this and how it’s impacted me, as well as the good that can come from these virtues for the general public. I’ll figure out the framing later, more research and self-searching needs to be done before I’ve earned the book about it.

I’ve challenged myself, here and now, to be who I say I am, and to say I am a good man. I’m certain this will come with some uncomfortable conversations, situations, and pivots. I’ll be humbled. I’ll fight it. I’ll be made a liar no more, and you will know I am who I say I am.