I have this saying, developed from many experiences and observations over my lifetime. It crystalized into the phrase, however, when returning from a church trip my senior year of high school.

Our church had a couple of small buses; 20 passengers each, give or take. We were flying back home from out west, and a church bus was to pick us up from the airport. When we landed, I noticed my dad in driver’s seat of the bus. Neat! I didn’t know he had a passenger endorsement on his license.

A few weeks go by and there was a need to drive some of the youth group to an event a couple towns over. Guess who got called! That’s right, my father. You see, he’d blown his secret. He could drive a bus and he was already willing to do it for the youth group.

It never failed. Each time there was some outing that the church had, my dad would get the call. Often times, he’d be required to make up some excuse or just plain say no (he was good with boundaries, mostly), but nevertheless he received the call.

After another trip, years earlier, another man that had just joined the church with his family, wrote and shared a poem expressing his gratitude for the welcoming atmosphere and how lovely the mission trip had been. It was a lovely gesture and everyone enjoyed it.

Then the same trip happened again the next year. This time, however, he was pressed by leadership to make a repeat performance. A nice man, he did it. There was a little less heart this time, naturally, but it was alright.

Then again the next year… and the next.

It was clear he never really wanted to do it after the first one, but he made the mistake of creating a tradition out of it.

A friend of mine, a teacher and guitar player, has fallen hardest to this trap. He is heavily involved in his church with the worship band on Sunday mornings. Great! A hobby he can use to serve his community. His work with his church opened up a door at school, where he was ‘volunteered’ to work for the FCA program, talent shows (including a performance), sports events, and many other things. He barely has time to eat!

The very unserious point here is twofold:

1. It’s not that you should not volunteer in your community. Volunteering is an excellent thing and part of what makes us good people. Just don’t be abused by it.
2. Recognize this phenomenon and refuse to put others in the that position. Don’t demand gifts.